Author Topic: Need A Joke thread here it is  (Read 8628 times)

savarin

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #60 on: March 18, 2019, 07:19:00 AM »
Wife - I thought you were going to cut the grass.
Me - I cant.
Wife - Why not?
Me - I'm waiting for the part.
Wife - I didnt know the mower was broken.
Me - It isnt.
Wife - Then what part are you waiting for?
Me - The part where I feel like doing it.
For some unknown reason I didnt get any dinner that evening.

PJB

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #61 on: March 27, 2019, 08:55:01 PM »
1991 Bridgeport Series I 2J-VS  9"x48"
1979 Clausing Colchester Bantam Mk2 11"x30"
1972 Harig Super 612
2015 Tormach PCNC-1100 Mill

"I wants what you gots!"

pep

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #62 on: March 27, 2019, 09:59:46 PM »
Now hiring

pep

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #63 on: March 27, 2019, 10:01:25 PM »
2 fer

Bill Gruby

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #64 on: April 12, 2019, 02:44:59 PM »
 My wife said her sister would like to make a positive contribution to my shop. I said $10,000 bucks wolld really help. Then the fight began?  ROTFLMAO

 "Billy G"
Don't sweat getting old, you'll still do dumb crap, just slower.

An Optimist will tell you the glass is half full, the pessimist half empty, the engineer will say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

savarin

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #65 on: April 12, 2019, 08:22:01 PM »
I forgot my wedding anniversary last week.
My wife was really angry and She told me "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning I got up early and left for work.
When my wife woke up and looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, she put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it she found a brand new bathroom scale.
I've been scared to go home since.                   

Terrywerm

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Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #66 on: April 13, 2019, 01:37:09 AM »
My anniversary is today. You can damn well bet that I've got the whole day figured out!
Terry

Making chips with old machines!

savarin

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #67 on: August 24, 2019, 06:23:55 AM »
I took my mate home for dinner after work yesterday, unannounced.
My wife started screaming but my mate just sat there listening.
She went on and on about My hair is not done, the house is a mess, the sinks full of dishes,
I'm not cooking and I'm still in my Pj's, why on earth did you bring him home? 
"Well" I said "He's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo"!


pep

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #68 on: August 24, 2019, 07:11:11 PM »
"promised him a demo  :))

savarin

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #69 on: August 24, 2019, 08:50:52 PM »
Sounds better if you use the accents.


pep

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #70 on: August 25, 2019, 07:23:24 AM »
I will venture to say, sheep and Epstein have some things is common .
 :))

Pep

pep

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #71 on: August 29, 2019, 05:45:57 PM »
What is the meaning of hallway

jpigg55

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #72 on: November 13, 2019, 08:11:49 AM »
For all the Packer fans out there, an old co-worker sent me this the other day.

How do you keep Bears out of your backyard ?

Make it look like an End Zone.
SB 9A, Clausing 8520, Sanford MG 612

savarin

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #73 on: February 23, 2020, 03:33:48 AM »
Are we allowed to buy Tranny fluid now or does it have to be non-gender specific liquid?

Jake Parker

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #74 on: March 01, 2020, 06:00:58 AM »
I would tell y'all my time travel joke, but y'all didnt laugh the first time. 😉