Author Topic: Need A Joke thread here it is  (Read 4729 times)

savarin

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #60 on: March 18, 2019, 07:19:00 AM »
Wife - I thought you were going to cut the grass.
Me - I cant.
Wife - Why not?
Me - I'm waiting for the part.
Wife - I didnt know the mower was broken.
Me - It isnt.
Wife - Then what part are you waiting for?
Me - The part where I feel like doing it.
For some unknown reason I didnt get any dinner that evening.

PJB

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #61 on: March 27, 2019, 08:55:01 PM »
I want what yooz gots

pep

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #62 on: March 27, 2019, 09:59:46 PM »
Now hiring

pep

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #63 on: March 27, 2019, 10:01:25 PM »
2 fer

Bill Gruby

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #64 on: April 12, 2019, 02:44:59 PM »
 My wife said her sister would like to make a positive contribution to my shop. I said $10,000 bucks wolld really help. Then the fight began?  ROTFLMAO

 "Billy G"
Don't sweat getting old, you'll still do dumb shit, just slower.

An Optimist will tell you the glass is half full, the pessimist half empty, the engineer will say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

savarin

Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #65 on: April 12, 2019, 08:22:01 PM »
I forgot my wedding anniversary last week.
My wife was really angry and She told me "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning I got up early and left for work.
When my wife woke up and looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, she put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it she found a brand new bathroom scale.
I've been scared to go home since.                   

Terrywerm

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Re: Need A Joke thread here it is
« Reply #66 on: April 13, 2019, 01:37:09 AM »
My anniversary is today. You can damn well bet that I've got the whole day figured out!
Terry

Making chips with old machines!