Author Topic: Joke Thread  (Read 7107 times)

Carpenter84

Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #90 on: April 30, 2020, 02:39:39 PM »
Oh, I didn't know you knew my middle name, Billy. Lol.

I don't care, I would have loved to see that concrete car over come that 1800 lbs.
Shawn

First 9x42 column mill,
Enterprise 10x28 lathe,
Ko Lee 6x12 surface grinder,
Airco dip/stick 160 welder,
Fully stocked wood shop.

Bill Gruby

Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #91 on: April 30, 2020, 05:27:57 PM »
 OK, time for a joke.

 A Blonde walks out of her house and peeks into her mailbox, nothing there. The neighbor is watching this happen every 30 minutes or so. Later that afternoon the neighbor is mowing his lawn and here she comes again. She looks in and still nothing. This time the neighbor says, you must be expecting something real important. The Blond replies, no, I got a new computer and it keeps saying, You've got mail.   


  "Billy G"
Don't sweat getting old, you'll still do dumb crap, just slower.

An Optimist will tell you the glass is half full, the pessimist half empty, the engineer will say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

jpigg55

Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #92 on: April 30, 2020, 11:58:01 PM »
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.
SB 9A, Clausing 8520, Sanford MG 612